In other news...

Pillow fighting continues to intensify along the border between Winkin and Blinkin, with the former accusing its rival of stuffing the ballot box. Blinkin debunks this as a blanket statement designed to fleece the public by pulling the wool over its eyes but Winkin insists that they’d rather see a new face in the current leader’s stead. It’s difficult to tell which side is lying, which may be a cause for alarm. Most of the conflict has so far centered around that famous body of water named for a German composer, Bach Springs, but has now spread hither and yawn.  Everywhere around me here are picket signs with angry slogans like “Different day, same sheet”, the familiar sliced snake with the caption “Don’t put your futon me” or in protest of the proposed new taxes "Lord, More Fees?" Sentiments like doze are sure to ruffle a few feathers. The Blinkish premier is apparently quite unnerved by the case and noone can comfort her as the Winks seem increasingly prone to violence and wait- yes, I've just heard that the palace has been stormed by thirty- no forty of the opposition and they have abducted the Blinkish premier. Much as Blinkin would like to place them under a rest; it's going to be difficult to catch forty Winks. Check this evening’s snoozepaper, they’ll keep you posted on further developments.

Thank you and good night; back to Matthew Tress in the studio…

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I was about to Nod off, but your news report woke me from my slumber...